Giving Voice

I am primarily non-verbal in my approach to life (I read this is often considered "the norm" for men). Part of my own growth in pursuing The Big Good is that I am working to find my voice. To be able to express myself verbally, such that my words convey what I really feel or think. This has always been difficult for me. Being able to speak one's inner voice is very important in so many ways in life.

One of the early experiences in my relationship with Beth that connects me to her, and roots me to who I am, came flowing out in a poem yesterday. I know virtually nothing about writing poetry, but the words came out this way, so I call it a poem. The poem refers to an early spring day when Beth and I sat under a very old, lone cottonwood tree in a meadow overlooking a lake where my grandparents live. The large old tree had been struck by lightening more than once and wore some deep scars. I always felt like the tree held a type of tree wisdom, and by sitting beside it, I could feel that. I often would come to this place throughout my childhood, the same place my grandfather came to as a boy, and sitting there with Beth that day was so important to me. For me the moment was largely non-verbal, but the experience I felt has resonated within me ever since. I call it a vision, because the vision of the experience I hold in my heart and I come back to it often. Here I share a start at finding my voice as part of The Big Good, in a love poem to my Beth.

Thunder Tree Vision

Together we knelt
Under the thunder tree
Deep hearts felt
The wind moving free

Thunder spirit made its home
In this sacred thunder tree
Ancient chorus above us
Sandhills floating high in the sky

Our hearts touching
Becoming one with the place
Roots going down deep
Beauty love in your face

Lightening ripped open
This tree and this place
My soul once struck
Yet here I felt grace

With you
Your heart
Your soul
Open to me

I felt the tree
The soul of the sacred ground
That I had known almost forever
Here I had found

A place of peace
We share this sacred moment
My heart open
Reaching out

Becoming one together
A journey we began
Together
Under the thunder tree

This is my vision
I return to in my heart
To know who I am
Where my roots are deep

And how our journey began
Although thunder tree is gone
The spirit is planted within us
To grow strong and blossom

Forever
With Love

Brent Thomas Ladd
May 14, 2008